There are so many cultural practices
and taboos here that some days, I really wish I had a rule book. I
never really thought too much if my behavior was offensive to another
person, because I believe that I am conditioned to behave within the
bounds of the culture I grew up in. I know the do's and the don't s,
and the appropriate and inappropriate and it is second nature to
me... but when you travel to another country you can pretty much
throw many of your own rules and norms out the window.
I will give you one big example, as I
found myself making some cultural faux paus when it comes to this
subject. Luckily, I am living with quite a wonderful, amazing,
understanding and PATIENT host family. The subject is the birth of a
new child. My host brother's girlfriend had a baby and she has moved
in with us for a few weeks. At home, as with anywhere in the world, I
assume, the birth of a new baby is a special and happy time. This is
naturally also the case here in Guyana. However, at home, at least in
my family, as I can't speak for every religion or ethnic group in the
US as there is so much diversity... I can only speak to my own
experiences, and in my own experience, there really aren't many rules
when it comes to introducing the new baby to the world... maybe good
etiquette is to bring a gift if you weren't at the shower, to use
hand sanitizer and to make sure you are not sick around the baby for
obvious reasons, but that is really all I can come up with. Here in
Guyana, there are many rules that deal with the health of the baby
and the health of the baby's soul. I will tell you eleven of
them that my host family told me, many of which, out of complete
ignorance, I have accidentally broken. Again, I have a wonderful and
understanding host family and am hoping that the spirits here will
forgive me and not take it out on this poor child! These rules are in
effect for the first NINE days of the child's life, as it is believed
that in the first nine days, the child is the most vulnerable... I
(and many doctors) would probably agree with this sentiment in
connection to its physical well being. After nine days, the rules are
no longer in effect. So here goes... disclaimer: note that
this is an abridged version and simply what I have picked up from
conversation or observation of just a handful of families, Guyana is
extremely diverse with Christianity, Hinduism, Muslim, Rastafarian
etc. There is definitely more explanation and tradition, and probably
more rules across religions, that I can not even begin to understand
as I have only been here for a few months:
- If you are menstruating: no holding the baby or sitting on the bed the baby sleeps on, otherwise, the baby will get crusty eyes that are glued shut.
- A broom must be placed by the entrance to the house.
- No one is to see the baby who is not immediate family [I am considered family, so I can see and hold the baby whenever I want!]... but my friend came over to bring me a Popsicle (a super special treat in this climate) and she saw the baby... rule broken...
- No one is to come in the house after 6PM, otherwise spirits who follow you home can hurt the baby as its soul is still vulnerable... I wasn't aware of this rule, so I came home the other night at 9PM... I had to walk through the door backwards to face the spirits that followed me and to tell the spirits to go away...
- The baby isn't named for nine days – I kept asking the baby's name when I first saw him...
- A dot (eye) is placed on the baby's brow to protect it from bad mouth (gossip and evil)... I asked why he had a dot and for about one second before it was explained, considered trying to wipe it off. Oops.
- Something about the fridge... standing right next to the fridge, the mother called me over and asked me to open the fridge for her because she couldn't – still trying to figure this one out... maybe it has to do with the cold. Guyana is HOT and sudden cold may do something.
- The baby needs to spend a few minutes in direct sunlight each day. The immediate thing that popped in my mind was the baby sun cages that stuck out of the windows from the olden days... Google it. I was given the baby to stand in the direct sunlight and he cried... we lasted about 20 seconds.
- Baby needs to be burped... wait, I knew this rule!!!!! score one for me!
- You can not go to a wake or funeral when there is a baby in your house, as the spirit of the dead will follow you home... which is very bad, again because the baby's soul is vulnerable.
- After nine days, there is a baby shower end the baby is named. It is a huge celebration and you can bring a gift or money for the baby.
So some of you may laugh at these baby
rules as they seem silly and foreign. As I am trying to be honest in
these blog posts, I will tell you that, I did at first giggle in awe;
they were simply so different from anything I have ever heard that I
thought they were a joke. But they are not. I realized that when I
hear these stories and rules (remember I mentioned the Baccu in an
earlier post... many people have told me they have legit had one), I
needed to keep in mind that they are legitimate to my host country
and taken very seriously. It would be pure disrespect to know the
rules and willingly break them, or to make fun of them (and I don't
just mean the baby rules, there are so many other customs and
superstitions). Going back to my own culture and beliefs, respect is
one of the most important values to Americans, so while I may or may
not believe in these “rules”, it is out of respect that I will
adhere to them and not judge.
To put it another way, Guyanese have a
rich and beautiful blend of superstition, folklore, religious beliefs
and tradition. In Guyana, folklore, superstition and traditions
explain every day occurrences and history. We Americans also have
many superstitions, traditions and beliefs to explain things that a
Guyanese, or person from another culture may find strange or silly...
11:11 make a wish... rain on wedding days... blowing out candles and
making a wish that you don't tell to anyone! Groundhogs day, rabbit
rabbit day. Another example, Halloween... We dress up scary, silly
or... gulp, slutty... and send our children parading down the street
IN THE DARK asking our neighbors for candy. Mind you that all too
often, with our busy lives, we often don't even know many of our
neighbors that we are sending our children to, oftentimes alone...
THIS IS CRAZY. But we do it... it has been a tradition for decades
and we love it and believe our children should experience it.
I will leave you with this thought when
thinking about cultural sensitivity, values and norms... Imagine
this: a 31 year old unmarried and childless woman left her family
home at 18. She went to college, traveled to Chile at 21, got
a job that paid money, lived on her own for 13 years
(with female AND male roommates), and then one day, she up
and left her family, friends and country for two years. To
you, some aspect of this story may be your own in some way or
another, and you won't even blink twice when you hear this story, and
may be wondering why I am even mentioning it. But to some people in
the country she is now living in, or for that matter, in the majority
of countries around the world, they may see her story as crazy,
completely foreign and silly. However, despite these sentiments, she
and many like her are still welcomed with open arms and love all over
the world. Peace Corps.
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