The book of honesty

Be honest with yourself

This was a tough week for me in my Peace Corps journey. It wasn't tough because I slept on a hard mattress. It wasn't tough because I took a cold shower. It wasn't tough because I ate strange food for lunch. And it wasn't tough sweating out anything I took in for most of the day. These are all things that can be overcome. 27 months from now I won't think much of the cold showers, the food, or the few nights it took to get used to my mattress. What was hard was talking about diversity within my own community, and reflecting on my own stereotypes. You see, in order to understand how best to interact locally and share my culture, The Peace Corps approach is for us to understand where we are  coming from and our understanding of identity. We watched a video that really made me think about my beliefs about identity and culture. The video was a TED Talk with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a Nigerian writer who discusses the dangers of a single story. The "single story" is what we see in the news, read in books or watch in movies. The single stories are the stereotypes that we see over and over again, take in, and come to believe as truth. Chimamanda recognizes that we are impressionable and vulnerable as children. She tells a story of her families house boy. Her mother tells her over and over how poor his family is; they send leftover food, hand me down clothes, and are told constantly not to waste as his family has nothing. One day, she goes to visit the house boy's family and is blown away by the love in his home and the intricate beautifully colored reed baskets in his home. Yes he was financially poor, but he was not poor in love and beauty. Her single story of him was that he was poor, and she couldn't see beyond his poverty and thus feeling sorry for him.

I like to think that I am an open, accepting and educated person who sees beauty in small things, the glass is always half full, and there is always goodness in everyone. But after listening to  Chimamanda's story, I realized that this description is not entirely true. I have many single stories of cultures and of the world. A good friend shared a quote by St. Augustine with me as I was beating myself up while contemplating how I could have been sucked into some of the stereotypes: "The world is a book, and those who do not travel, see only one page." Growing up, I was not exposed to much diversity (race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation) in my small community. As a result, my understanding of these identities did not come from human to human interaction, but from "second hand intake"... television, news, movies, books, newspapers, text books in school, stories from friends, neighbors and family. My knowledge of diversity and what it meant to be of another identity was swayed by many factors, the majority of which were not from first hand experience, observation or communication. My point of connection to people of various backgrounds was from these instances of "second hand intake". When someone says to me, "I am gay" or "French" or "Muslim" etc.  I cannot help but visualize the "index card in my brain" that holds all of the stories and my points of reference... I had limited first hand experience, so naturally, I was susceptible to some of the stereotypes that I had encountered. It is now, as an adult, that I must challenge these stereotypes and ideas of what race, religion, ethnicity and sexual orientation are, to formulate my own personal beliefs.

I think that recognizing, and being honest with myself that "yes, I am human and susceptible to some of these stereotypes we have all heard", is the first step towards true acceptance. How was I to know reality, without experiencing it? I haven't been to every square foot of the world, I haven't talked to the 7 billion people on this earth to get their story. At 31, Peace Corps is the starting point to reevaluate what I think I know and to create my own story of the world. Never did I imagine that Peace Corps would lead me to challenge the foundations of my beliefs and would open my mind and eyes to my own prejudices as it has. I am challenging myself that when I meet someone for the first time, to let it all go... to not think of the one page of the book or about the single story I have come to know about them,  but to get to know their full story.

Peace corps: 1 month down, 26 to go.

If you would like to hear Chimamanda's story (I hope you do!!):

http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story?language=en